I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
