dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
