Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
