wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
