I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
