im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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