Bisexual people are plain selfish.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
