I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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