oh god the rape fog is back!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
