I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize