did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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