Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
