you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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