I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
