no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
