just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
