My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
