But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
