Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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