on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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