I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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