Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
