Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
