One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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