He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
