Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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