Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
