So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
