the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
