Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize