I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The uberlube is also flammable
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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