she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
