My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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