Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize