either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
