He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
