Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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