why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize