North Korea, Best Korea!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize