I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
false alarm. still invincible.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
