Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
