just tell him i said nine months
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
