I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
BRING THE BAGELS
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