Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
