Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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