By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
