Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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