You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
