just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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