I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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