i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
