she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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