My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
