I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
