We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Come on in and take your pants off
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