I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
